Feb 3 2015
You’ve been trading dirty pictures and messages, your calendar is open, and you find your potential partner hot. The next thing you know, you have just agreed to hook up via an app. How do you make this happen?
There are basically two ways, meet in a public place or meet somewhere you can have sex.
1). Is this a date or a hook-up?
If you arrange to meet for a beer or a cup of coffee initially, clarify your intentions. Are you pre-screening them to see if they are who they claim to be? Do they look like their pictures? Are you prepared to go have sex immediately upon mutual agreement? Or, are you taking your time? Are you meeting this afternoon for coffee and then if it goes well, tomorrow night for sex? Warning, most men do not think these hook-ups are not supposed to be a dates.
2). Manage your expectations.
If you don’t meet before, be prepared mentally for a few things. First of all, it is pretty common that people don’t look like their thumbnail. You may be disappointed in his looks, but give him a chance to show off his personality. A good connection between the two of you could lead to a lot more fun that you might think, trust us on this. As for the site of the hook-up, keep your mind on the task at hand. You may be hosting, or have a standing arrangement at the Motel 6 by your house, or you may be going somewhere new. If you go to their place, just remember, this is not HGTV.
3). Be prepared to have fun.
In the majority of the situations you should be prepared to immediately have sex. Basic hygiene is recommended: teeth brushed, flossed, and some gum on hand. We recommend showering before if possible, even if at the gym. Wearing deodorant is up to you, some guys will request you not wear it. Occasionally your hook-up will request that you not shower, but again, you should decide what you are comfortable with. Be aware, if they ask you to not shower, they are probably not going to. If you are the host, have your tools handy- lube, cock ring, cum rag, whatever you like. If you are a guest, bring protection if you discussed it, but leave the toys at home, at least the first time.
4). Here are some rules of engagement.
You and your “Bud” go back to the apartment, hotel, parking lot, wherever. Turn your phone on vibrate. Turn off the app you met on. Wear something attractive, sexy, but easy to get off. We recommend no underwear, unless it is a jock strap, or cute underwear. Leave the belts, jackets, layers at home or in the car. That’s more items to forget, whether you are leaving in a good-sex haze, or in a hurry. There is also a chance you won’t see them again, at least not right away. Don’t expect a shower or cuddle after, be prepared to wipe off with that complimentary rag, put your clothes on and leave. It’s not a date, so don’t expect to be invited to join them in a glass of wine after.
5). Decide what is on the menu before you begin.
Will the hook-up include giving and/or receiving a blowjob? Penetration? Ejaculation? That’s just to name the basic moves. Always be comfortable in your decision. Being bold in your sexting is one thing, but actually doing them is another. You can always change your mind, at any point. If you don’t want to do something, even if you said you did, you can always change your mind. When discussing what your actions are going to be, you should ask about HIV status and any other STDs and STIs. Some are very easy to catch. You should be truthful about your own status and health. Regardless of the answer, always act in your own best interest. If you feel that safe sex is important, then insist on it.
6). Be honest about what you like.
It would be cool, and likely more fun, if you (honestly) discuss and agree upon the events. If you say you are versatile, then be prepared to fuck and be fucked. If you just want to be the top or the bottom, let them know.
Managing expectations is a great way to exceed them.
Have you ever left a hook-up?
What are some of your tips for making them hot?