Oral Introduction

It’s started and now you get inside your bedroom, hotel room, or dark corner. You might start making out, then you feel the other guy getting hard. Now what do you do?

1). Let’s start with kissing. Most guys like it, and it can be a good measure of connection. You might like how their facial hair or lack thereof, feels. You might like the way they taste. What happens when they are not a good kisser, or they specifically mention that they don’t want to do it? We have seen some open relationships that specifically restrict that activity. What happens if they are a bad kisser?

2). Some people go right for the mouth on the cock. You can start by rubbing their cock through the pants, underwear, whatever. That gives you an idea of how ready to go they are and the size of their cock. That’s helpful for a couple of reasons. If they are not as excited as you, you know to take a little more time. See what does make them hard, maybe they want to suck yours first. Not everyone gets hard right away.
The other benefit is that you are not surprised when you see their cock. If it is a little smaller than you thought, you don’t have a chance to go “Is that it?” It is rarely larger than you thought, FYI. Smaller is actually easier for a blow job.

3). It is funny all the things you notice the first time you get your mouth near their cock. Do they shave their pubic hair or nuts? That is close enough to feel stubble. Are they circumcised? We recommend giving their nuts some attention, most guys like that.

4). FYI not everyone likes blowjobs. Like most sex, there are a couple points of view. First, it feels good. Certainly a warm mouth that licks your cock is not an unpleasant experience, (unless they use their teeth). Another turn-on is mental. Some men get off on the site of seeing someone service their cock.

What are some of your tips? What do you like about giving or getting blowjobs?

Better Sex!

We think talking about sex and all that goes with it is a good thing. The more you feel comfortable with your body and what you like, the more you and your partner (s) will enjoy themselves.

Check out Dan Savage’s Lovecast for more great discussions. http://www.savagelovecast.com/



Meeting in public, or Not on an App

Think about all the places you might meet someone. It could be bars, the workplace, a gym, or a house party. If you spot someone in one of these places and think they are hot, what is the best way to get them in bed?

  • Work is usually a tricky place to “date”. Most people are better off if they keep work and personal life separate. Realistically, personal life and work life mix pretty often. There are a couple of things to consider if you want to hook up at work. If you work for a big company, you can at least physically avoid each other when things end. In a small place, that’s much harder to do. The best thing is to keep it quiet, that way if it ends, no one will be the wiser.
  • Gyms and coffee shops are an easy place to meet someone and you probably visit them multiple times a week. If you see someone you like, make eye contact and smile. See how they react. No matter what, go up to the person and introduce yourself. Don’t ever assume that someone is out of your league. Don’t ask do you work out, especially at the gym. Compliment them on a clothing article, haircut or their smile. And practice, not everyone is good at flirting. Self-confidence is the number one things people respond to.
  • Some basic manners will make you look good. Try not to interrupt another conversation, wait for a break. If they are busy making out with someone else, you might want to wait until another night. “Hi, how are you, my name is”… Those are good openers. Keep it fun, or sexy. You could say “I find you very attractive”. That message, delivered in a self-confident way, is very powerful. That is not the same as drunk slurring “your hot” on the way past someone. Grabbing someone’s bicep or ass is not ideal either.
  • Be prepared for them to say nothing or thank you and then you walk away gracefully. Ideally, if they are polite, they will say thank you, what’s your name, my name is…  Share a few words, and see how it goes. Don’t check your phone while you are talking to them.

Sure, some people are annoying, and some people are rude. Don’t try to beat them at that game. Personally, I like volunteering, You meet a nice group of people, usually with a different point of view. Try it out.

Bottoming, tips and tricks no matter what role you like to play!

Reality is different than porn, and we enjoy both. A good bottom is better with a good top and vice versa. When you are having sex with a new partner, remember that everyone likes things a little differently. No matter what role you play, paying attention to your partner can enhance the experience for both of you.

Gay sex doesn’t always include penetration, but when it does, here are a few notes to keep it fun and clean.

1) Playing the role of the bottom, and doing it well, is all about preparation.

There are more than a couple of things that can go in an ass- these include fingers, toys, tongue, or a cock. Some of these are less intrusive, or don’t go as deep. This means there are also various degrees of preparation.

2). Prep can be as simple as eating something agreeable, or simply washing in and around the hole.

Washing is a good start. Rub a little soap on your finger and then in and around your hole. Wet wipes are also a good tool. For more thorough preparation, use an enema or something that provides an internal wash. Enemas are easily available at mainstream drugstores. Most gay adult toy sites will offer tools as well. When cleaning out, give yourself some time to allow the water to exit your system. If you go really deep, it may take longer to wash yourself out.

3). How to make it look and feel easy

A bottom might find it helpful to “loosen up” their hole prior to penetration. This can be done with your own finger or toy and it tends to make things go in a little easier. The initial act of penetration is likely to hurt or be uncomfortable. Most people find that some sort of lube is helpful. A smooth penetration also depends on how hard the top is, and how tight the hole is. It’s not always a home run.

4). What to do when something happens in the middle of sex.

Given how the body functions, it is likely that there is going to be some residue on the inserted appendage or toy. The first thing is to try not to freak out, it washes off. Yes it is unpleasant, but have a towel nearby for these kinds of clean-ups. Condoms can be helpful in less than ideal situations. Whether on a cock or on a toy, it makes cleaning up much easier.

If you are the bottom, and you are not sure how things are going to go, excuse yourself to the restroom and freshen up. At any point, if the bottom thinks it is not a good idea to continue, do something else not involving the hole, or reschedule.

5). Keep it fun, and talk dirty

Whatever position, try to communicate with each other. Many men prefer a verbal partner. The dialogue reinforces that they are giving you pleasure. Try to avoid repeating phrases like “fuck me” and “oh yeah” too many times. You may want to check cleanliness between penetrations if you take a break. That can save on some clean up later.

What are your tips for being a good bottom?

Do you like your partner to be verbal?