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When the hook up you want, isn’t the hook up you get…

You are drinking and having fun. You may be flirting with lots of guys, virtually or in person. You know that you want to get laid, and you are free to do so. How should you pick one and close the deal?

1). Frequently many of these guys turn out to be flakes. It probably happens more often when you are on an app, but it can happen in a bar or club as well. We recommend you keep your options open. If you have chemistry with someone, and it doesn’t happen, you could still try again at another time.

Try not to let your feelings get hurt if someone rejects you or just disappears. Sometimes they get a better offer. Sometimes they are just enjoying the flirting and they don’t want to actually get in their car and go down to your neighborhood when they can jerk it at home. Maybe you are not their type but they were bored. You may have even have done the same thing at one time or another. Take it for what it’s worth.

2).You decide to move forward with someone who is not your first choice. You say yes because they were aggressive and you found it flattering, or it also may just be that time of the night. You have had enough to drink and / or you are horny enough to say yes. The best thing to do is run with it. You should give it your all, because they are. And if you are going to actually hook up, why not enjoy it? It is supposed to be better than jacking off alone.

3). You get together and the sex is… not better than jacking off alone. As you are leaving, you may be thinking “it was not my best effort”. Next time, make sure you try harder. Most of us don’t want somebody thinking that we are bad in bed. Does it even matter? What is “good in bed”, when it is 3am and you are drunk?

Remember, sex is supposed to be fun for both of you, and it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon.

Oral Introduction

It’s started and now you get inside your bedroom, hotel room, or dark corner. You might start making out, then you feel the other guy getting hard. Now what do you do?

1). Let’s start with kissing. Most guys like it, and it can be a good measure of connection. You might like how their facial hair or lack thereof, feels. You might like the way they taste. What happens when they are not a good kisser, or they specifically mention that they don’t want to do it? We have seen some open relationships that specifically restrict that activity. What happens if they are a bad kisser?

2). Some people go right for the mouth on the cock. You can start by rubbing their cock through the pants, underwear, whatever. That gives you an idea of how ready to go they are and the size of their cock. That’s helpful for a couple of reasons. If they are not as excited as you, you know to take a little more time. See what does make them hard, maybe they want to suck yours first. Not everyone gets hard right away.
The other benefit is that you are not surprised when you see their cock. If it is a little smaller than you thought, you don’t have a chance to go “Is that it?” It is rarely larger than you thought, FYI. Smaller is actually easier for a blow job.

3). It is funny all the things you notice the first time you get your mouth near their cock. Do they shave their pubic hair or nuts? That is close enough to feel stubble. Are they circumcised? We recommend giving their nuts some attention, most guys like that.

4). FYI not everyone likes blowjobs. Like most sex, there are a couple points of view. First, it feels good. Certainly a warm mouth that licks your cock is not an unpleasant experience, (unless they use their teeth). Another turn-on is mental. Some men get off on the site of seeing someone service their cock.

What are some of your tips? What do you like about giving or getting blowjobs?

Better Sex!

We think talking about sex and all that goes with it is a good thing. The more you feel comfortable with your body and what you like, the more you and your partner (s) will enjoy themselves.

Check out Dan Savage’s Lovecast for more great discussions.